My mother was a great one for wishes. Whenever we had a chicken dinner, she always kept the wishbone for the children to pull and make a wish. When she made the Christmas cake, we all had a turn at giving the mixture a stir and making a wish. When we blew out the candles on our birthday cakes, we had to make a wish.

Unfortunately, none of my childhood wishes ever came true. I never got a new bicycle, I never swapped my box room for a proper bedroom, and I still had to go to school. However, there was definitely an upside from these unfulfilled wishes. Unlike some of my friends, I never had my battered old bike stolen, I developed tidy habits by living in a confined space, and I came to enjoy school so much that I didn’t leave until I was 60! So my childhood of making wishes taught me an important lesson — be careful what you wish for.

This is a salutary warning for anyone who is inclined to wish that things were different. In politics, for example, if you wish for greater democracy, you must also be prepared for short-term thinking, lack of continuity, manipulative politicians, empty promises, populist rhetoric, partisan conflict, and lack of harmony.

If you wish for stronger government, you must also be prepared for more authoritarian leaders, greater restrictions on individual rights and liberties, and more censorship.

If you wish for greater freedom of speech, you must also be prepared for an outpouring of racist, sexist, xenophobic and all manner of other hate-filled venom.

If you wish for revolution, you must also be prepared for violent conflict, chaos, counterrevolution, and ultimate disappointment.

If you wish for lower taxation, you must also be prepared for poorer health, education, social welfare, transport and other public services. Conversely, if you wish for better public services, you must also be prepared for higher tax bills.

Almost every positive cause in this world has the potential to turn negative. The more extreme the implementation of the cause, the more likely are negative consequences. Invariably, the optimum position is somewhere in the middle. Anyone who has studied Eastern philosophy will immediately recognize the wisdom of this. Balance and harmony are key elements in Taoism and Confucianism, both of which were strongly influenced by the concept of “yin” and “yang”.

The “yin-yang” philosophy dates back 3,000 years to the ninth century BC. It is rooted in the idea that the universe is composed of competing forces of dark and light, sun and moon, Earth and heaven, male and female. The key to understanding these forces is that while they are opposites, they also coexist and complement one another, sometimes even relying on one another to exist. There cannot, for example, be shadow without light. It is the balance between the extremes of yin and yang that is important in all aspects of life. If yin is stronger, yang will be weaker, and vice versa. They are constantly interacting. The fundamental belief is that maintaining a balance between yin and yang is crucial for harmony and well-being, both in the natural world and in human life.

Almost every positive cause in this world has the potential to turn negative. The more extreme the implementation of the cause, the more likely are negative consequences. Invariably, the optimum position is somewhere in the middle

The need for such a balance is generally acknowledged much more in China than in the West. In traditional Chinese medicine, for example, the concept of yin and yang is used to diagnose and treat illnesses by restoring balance within the body. Similarly, in feng shui, yin-yang principles are used to create harmonious environments by balancing the energies of a space.

Of course, the concept of yin and yang is much more broadly applicable than this, and is equally relevant in both the East and the West. It includes all aspects of life, from harmonious personal relationships and an individual work-life balance to the need for cooperation and harmony in politics, government and international affairs.

This is at the heart of one of the greatest challenges for our modern world — for different peoples, states and cultures to achieve harmony by coexisting peacefully with one another. It is the antithesis of the zero-sum approach to international relations, characterized by extreme views, polarized ideologies and the demonization of perceived enemies. More than ever in our war-torn and divided world, the ancient yin-yang principles of balance and harmony need to underpin international relations.

So next time you pull on a wishbone, or blow out your birthday candles, be careful what you wish for. Rather than wishing for a new bike, or a new boss, or a new government, just wish for a little more harmony in our lives. In the old Miss World competition interviews, the hackneyed question often asked of the candidates was, “If you could only have one wish, what would you wish for?” The standard, much-ridiculed answer was invariably “world peace”. Maybe we shouldn’t have laughed. This simplistic answer merely needs expanding to promote the yin-yang ideal of balance and harmony. My mother would have approved.

The author is a British historian and former principal of Sha Tin College, an international secondary school in Hong Kong. 

The views do not necessarily reflect those of China Daily.